Pro-Love but Anti-Valentine's Day

On Valentine's day I had to write an anti-Valentine's blog. Yes, yes I did. In a way it's also a blog I've thought about writing for a while but never got around to doing so. These words are not because I'm cynical, single, and alone on Valentine's day. These words are just my opinions and observations. Plus I'm not cynical. Don't peg me wrong; I'm a hopeless romantic. However I've also realized a few things in my life that urge me to be realistic.

In the words of Taylor Swift

I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood

and also in the word's of The Cheetah Girls lyrics

Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no one else
I'd rather rescue myself

Hollywood love stories are great because they give people something to dream about and hope for. There's nothing wrong with dreaming that you'll have an epic romantic relationship. I support dreaming, hell I'm a dreamer myself, except I know when to wake up. Walking up to a guy that is way out of my league (as much as I hate leagues, they DO exist) and having him love me for who I am will probably never happen in my life, and I'm okay with that. I say probably because I believe that anything can happen, but at the same time I'm not going to to put all my hopes into a gamble. I'm overly sensitive, so my heart can't play games.

Let's not forget the title of this blog PRO-love but Anti-Valentine's Day. I'm  not against love. Quite the contrary. I think love is one of the greatest emotions, probably the greatest. I've never been head over heels in love with a man, but I know what it feels like to have a tremendous love for family, friends, children, and animals. Love is an amazing feeling. To find one single person to love is probably equally as amazing. Idealy I want to be truely in love with someone. I want to love one person more than I love anything else, however I have a real problem with people who claim that without someone they have nothing.

Don't depreciate your self-worth. Everything you have is not in one person. Your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife. fiance, etc. can mean the world to you but they are NOT the only thing you have. I hate phraes like "without you I have nothing". Just because you don't have someone, it does not mean that you don't have anything. You have friends, family, and you have yourself. Your life existed before "someone" came along, and if things work out for better and for worse then great! Consider yourself lucky and blessed, but if it doesn't work out remember that life will go on. I have friends that I just want to shake because they refuse to move on when a relationship ends. I can't udnerstand why they want to deprive themselves of happiness by dwelling on the past. You have the present and the future to make the most of, the past is over and behind you.

I guess I'm just full of opinions and lacking in experience. It's easy for me to preach about relationships I've never had. People have made me aware of this when I offer advice. They'll say things such as, "No offense, but you can't understand because you don't know what it's like". I have never claimed to be a relationship Guru, trust me I wouldn't want the stress of such a title anyways. I just know what I do and do not want when it comes to romance.

Speaking of "don't wants" now is as good a time as any to move onto the Anti-Valentines Day portion of my blog. I personally think Valentine's Day is stupid. No, I'm not just saying that because I'm single and bitter aboout it. Even if I were in a relationship right now I would not want my boyfriend to celebrate it. I feel like I shouldn't need a designated day for my man to show me that he loves me. That is just dumb. If you can't tell me that you love me, buy me flowers, cards, candy, and take me out to dinner on a random Tuesday, then don't tell me you love me on Valentine's day because you feel like you're "supposed" to. As far as I'm concerned any day and everyday should be Valentine's Day! It would mean a lot more to me to be told "I love you" on a day that is not an anniversary or "Hallmark Holiday". Valentine's Day is just another day after all. It holds the same opportunity as any other day.

To sum up Valentine's Days a whole: "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn".

Wear Suncreen

 I feel like I am cheating by posting another blog that is not written by me. I have had a lot of thoughts that I wanted to blog lately, but I never sit down and compile them into a blog. Eventually I will get back to blogging on a semi-regular basis. Until then blogs such as this one will have to suffice. This entire blog will consist of lyrics from Baz Luhrmann. The song is entitled "Free to Wear Sunscreen". In my personal opinion, the words of this song are powerful words on life and living it. It gives me a little bit of reassurance every time I listen to the words and really let the meaning of them sink in. Perhaps you'll find it interesting too.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind…the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...