Words to live by

I came across this, it is not written by me but I do love it! Here are some very powerful and helpful words to live by.

The Awakening - Author Unknown

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and its OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. And you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. . . and that it is your right to want things that you want. And that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch. And in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve. And that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself. by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Never put all your eggs in one basket

Don't let the catchy title mislead you.

Here's a blog that everyone and anyone can relate to, because it is about relationships ha ha. Ah... relationship, one word with so many meanings. Webster defines it as the following :

 A state of affairs existing between those having relations.

Any way you define it, relationships are a significant part of our lives. Whether it be family, friends, romantic, sexual, or business, they are all relationships. The fact is that people are social beings. Throughout our lives we make many connections. Life is full of relation-webs, I've found this out first-hand. In my twenty years on this earth I've come to form quite a few opinions about relationships and I shall share what I've learned thus far. I'm a big fan of sub-topics and sub-categories so I'm going to break this blog down into subs.

Friendship
Your "best" friend is potentinally your worst enemy. I've found that the closer a person is to you, the harder it hurts when they betray, lie, make fun of you/put you down, and just any mean thing in general. It just hurts worse coming from someone who knows you very well. It's no suprise since by knowing you, they also know how to hurt you. They know your strengths and your weaknesses, and can use them against you. Don't ever think you know everything about someone! No matter how well you think you know a person, I've come to find that you will never fully know them. People can change, people can and will do things that you'd never expect them to do, which could be good or bad. Always be careful if you put your trust in a friend, trust is not easily obtained, but it is easily destroyed.

Shallow Hal Syndrome

It seems that many Americans are suffering from the growing epidemic I like to call "Shallow Hal Syndrome".

Symptoms include: an extremely high emphasis on appearance, vanity, negativity, superficiality, being judgmental, and at the root of it all: insecurity.

If you are unfamiliar with the reference,"Shallow Hal" is a 2001 movie staring Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow. Below is a quick summary of the movie, the summary is not written by me, it is directly excerpted from imdb.com. Basically a shallow man falls in love with a 300 pound woman because of her "inner beauty"

"Following the advice of his dying father, Hal dates only women who are physically beautiful. One day, however, he runs into self-help guru Tony Robbins, who hypnotizes him into recognizing only the inner beauty of women. Hal thereafter meets Rosemary, a grossly obese woman whom only he can see as a vision of loveliness."

This blog is not a movie review. But if you've seen "Shallow Hal" you can see how it somewhat connects. What I am really trying to understand is why people think so negatively. For instance, when we see an attractive man with a woman, whom we deem to be not as attractive as him, or vice versa, a beautiful woman with an ugly man, more often than not the first thought is something negative. A good majority of people would say/think "He is out of her league" or  "What is she doing with him, she could do better".

Today a scenario similar to the ones I just described happened while I was at work. An attractive man came into the store holding the hand of a woman who was obese, she was obviously much larger than him, and according to my co-workers "uglier". One worker even proceeded to joke that "He must have a small penis". Automatically she resorted to negativity. Did it even cross her mind that maybe the woman has an amazing personality? It must be too hard for them to believe that a hot guy might not be shallow. Another co-worker  chuckled at the small penis comment and replied "If his penis ain't small then he must be with fatty moo-moo because of money, or he's a chubby chaser". More negativity! Those comments are rude and unnecessary. Quite frankly, they make the people who said them look vain, shallow, mean, and insecure.

One of my theories on the negativity sweeping our society focuses on insecurity. Maybe people make these negative comments  in order to make themselves feel better about the fact that an ugly person was able to snag a hottie. If negativity truly stems from insecurity then I am a little more compassionate towards people who resort to negative comments. I understand all too well what it feels like to be insecure. My self-esteem is basically non-existent. I HATE compliments, but I am just realistic. The truth is most people I know are smarter, prettier, and funnier than me. I honestly don't compare, and competition really isn't my forte, so I don't try to. Ahh okay I'd rather focus on other people's negativity and self-image rather than my own.Yes, I know it is a little hypocritical, but oh well.

I just can't express enough how much I hate American society and the emphasis we put on image. I can't stand how shallow and judgmental people can be. We put way too much value on appearance. The prettiest people do some of the ugliest things. It is not all about looks. Being hot does not make up for an ugly personality, at least not as far as I'm concerned. I have yet to see a "sexy" 60, 70, or 80 year old. Looks fade, I'd much rather be with a guy who can make me laugh, or who is smart and has integrity. Long after looks are gone, what is inside remains.  I realize that the phrase "It's what's inside that counts" is cliche, but it is true, so call me cliche and I'll see it as a good thing.

Have you ever watched a make-over show and found yourself wowed at a person's transformation? It is shocking how hair, make-up, clothes, teeth, implants, and liposuction can transform a person. I like to think that part of what makes them suddenly so beautiful is their new found confidence. Confidence that sadly had to come from looks. But it is no wonder so many people feel like they aren't pretty enough. Media makes us think that we have to be perfect to be pretty. I mentioned that hair and make-up can make a person look completely different.  Here is a great example of how someone really looks vs. the end product that media shows us.



The video above is a Dove commercial. Dove does an amazing job of campaigning for "Real Beauty" and empowering women to see that they don't have to be perfect. They attempt to teach young girls to have healthy self-esteem. It is also a part of the Dove mission to show the general public that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, they want to redefine beauty. I fully support this campaign.

Here is another Dove commercial that I think is very profound

Readers Beware

Warning: I tend to ramble and have lots of unfascinating thoughts

It seems almost wrong to start blogging without making my first blog an introductory one. I'm not really sure if there is some secret blogger code, a sort of unwritten rule, stating that this is the case. However, in order to be a cool kid/conformist, I'm going to follow suit and jump on the bandwagon of "introductory blogs". Actually, I think it's a good idea to let readers know what they're getting into (haha if anyone actually reads this). Imagine this blog as one of those cool, flashy movie trailers, except of course it is written. So technically it is more like the back cover of a book, you know those awesome summaries that say what the book is about in hopes that you will want to read more.

With that being said, it's probably good to start with the basics. I am a twenty year old college student, who lives a typical boring life (haha oh yeah I bet you're dying to read more now!). I was born, raised, and live in Columbus, Ohio which is Buckeye city baby! O-H...I-O! If you're familiar with Columbus, Ohio then you might know how amusing it is to yell O-H while driving down High Street, those good ole college kids! Moving on with the about me details, I absolutely adore animals and children, so much so that they might be common blog topics for me. Laughing is my favorite thing to do. I am constantly laughing, and I am very easily amused. I will probably blog about things that I find amusing, and make lame jokes thinking that I'm funny.

Traveling is amazing! Sadly I have yet to visit not even half of the places on this earth that I want to. But traveling adventures end up being some of the best stories. I will definitely blog about any road trips or vacations I take. Thoughts can be very dangerous, and I think about things way too much. My mind always has half a million thoughts running through it. At times it makes me feel crazy! Blogs are a good place to vent and release those thoughts. There will be a lot of "Judy's Thoughts" blogs. I'm likely to blog any time a thought strikes me and compels me enough to turn it into a blog.

If you are still reading this by the time you've reached this portion of the blog, then you can't say that you haven't been warned. Also by now you should know the types of blogs I'll be writing and a little bit about my life, as well as me as a person. So you should know whether or not you want to read more.

If you're interested at all:
This is the story of a girl along with her many thoughts, bad jokes, and the occasional random side story. Feel free to follow me and/or leave comments. I believe I just completed blogging 101! Woot woot