Shallow Hal Syndrome

It seems that many Americans are suffering from the growing epidemic I like to call "Shallow Hal Syndrome".

Symptoms include: an extremely high emphasis on appearance, vanity, negativity, superficiality, being judgmental, and at the root of it all: insecurity.

If you are unfamiliar with the reference,"Shallow Hal" is a 2001 movie staring Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow. Below is a quick summary of the movie, the summary is not written by me, it is directly excerpted from imdb.com. Basically a shallow man falls in love with a 300 pound woman because of her "inner beauty"

"Following the advice of his dying father, Hal dates only women who are physically beautiful. One day, however, he runs into self-help guru Tony Robbins, who hypnotizes him into recognizing only the inner beauty of women. Hal thereafter meets Rosemary, a grossly obese woman whom only he can see as a vision of loveliness."

This blog is not a movie review. But if you've seen "Shallow Hal" you can see how it somewhat connects. What I am really trying to understand is why people think so negatively. For instance, when we see an attractive man with a woman, whom we deem to be not as attractive as him, or vice versa, a beautiful woman with an ugly man, more often than not the first thought is something negative. A good majority of people would say/think "He is out of her league" or  "What is she doing with him, she could do better".

Today a scenario similar to the ones I just described happened while I was at work. An attractive man came into the store holding the hand of a woman who was obese, she was obviously much larger than him, and according to my co-workers "uglier". One worker even proceeded to joke that "He must have a small penis". Automatically she resorted to negativity. Did it even cross her mind that maybe the woman has an amazing personality? It must be too hard for them to believe that a hot guy might not be shallow. Another co-worker  chuckled at the small penis comment and replied "If his penis ain't small then he must be with fatty moo-moo because of money, or he's a chubby chaser". More negativity! Those comments are rude and unnecessary. Quite frankly, they make the people who said them look vain, shallow, mean, and insecure.

One of my theories on the negativity sweeping our society focuses on insecurity. Maybe people make these negative comments  in order to make themselves feel better about the fact that an ugly person was able to snag a hottie. If negativity truly stems from insecurity then I am a little more compassionate towards people who resort to negative comments. I understand all too well what it feels like to be insecure. My self-esteem is basically non-existent. I HATE compliments, but I am just realistic. The truth is most people I know are smarter, prettier, and funnier than me. I honestly don't compare, and competition really isn't my forte, so I don't try to. Ahh okay I'd rather focus on other people's negativity and self-image rather than my own.Yes, I know it is a little hypocritical, but oh well.

I just can't express enough how much I hate American society and the emphasis we put on image. I can't stand how shallow and judgmental people can be. We put way too much value on appearance. The prettiest people do some of the ugliest things. It is not all about looks. Being hot does not make up for an ugly personality, at least not as far as I'm concerned. I have yet to see a "sexy" 60, 70, or 80 year old. Looks fade, I'd much rather be with a guy who can make me laugh, or who is smart and has integrity. Long after looks are gone, what is inside remains.  I realize that the phrase "It's what's inside that counts" is cliche, but it is true, so call me cliche and I'll see it as a good thing.

Have you ever watched a make-over show and found yourself wowed at a person's transformation? It is shocking how hair, make-up, clothes, teeth, implants, and liposuction can transform a person. I like to think that part of what makes them suddenly so beautiful is their new found confidence. Confidence that sadly had to come from looks. But it is no wonder so many people feel like they aren't pretty enough. Media makes us think that we have to be perfect to be pretty. I mentioned that hair and make-up can make a person look completely different.  Here is a great example of how someone really looks vs. the end product that media shows us.



The video above is a Dove commercial. Dove does an amazing job of campaigning for "Real Beauty" and empowering women to see that they don't have to be perfect. They attempt to teach young girls to have healthy self-esteem. It is also a part of the Dove mission to show the general public that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, they want to redefine beauty. I fully support this campaign.

Here is another Dove commercial that I think is very profound